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Choose Your Attitude: Choose Healthy Expectations


Unhealthy expectations and a sense of entitlement can derail a relationship faster than a speeding bullet. Not only is such a mindset rampant among the younger generation but is pervasive in families and friendships.

The common attitude today is "somebody owes me something." If you've found yourself  disappointed, frustrated, or even angered over unfulfilled expectations, could it be that you have elevated an expectation to the status of a right.

 What gives us such a sense of enTITLEment anyway ?  We often fall into thinking that people owe us because of the TITLE we hold in their lives: mother, daughter, brother, wife, friend, donor, pastor, employee, boss, etc. We treat that TITLE as if it is a "TITLE DEED" that gives us the right to whatever benefit we expect.

If you have unhealthy, unreasonable, or unexpressed expectations, here are some strategies to help you overcome this relationship-destroying mindset:       

o   Put each of your expectations in perspective. Ask yourself, "Is what I expect simply a DESIRE or a RIGHT based upon a MARRIAGE COVENANT, a LEGAL CONTRACT, or  the CONSTITUTION OF OUR COUNTRY?  Is this expectation reasonable? You may want to get some outside input from an objective friend here.

o   Remember that meeting expectations should be a two-way street. Be willing to meet the reasonable expectations of others—especially those on whom you have placed expectations.

o   Do not assume that someone's past kindness to you established a pattern or entitled you to ongoing benefits in the future. Understand that people always have the freedom to STOP or delay their good deeds  at their discretion.

o   Make it a habit to express appreciation for every act of kindness that anyone extends to you. This will serve to remind you that nobody owes you anything! An attitude of gratitude is always a winning act. 

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