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Suzanne Eller was not raised in church. She did not know anything about Jesus. Her family was fractured. When Suzanne looks back at her family tree, she can see that she comes from a line of broken women. The women in her family lineage were passing down a legacy that they had received and said just do the best you can with it. Suzanne was a pioneer Christian in her family. The one thing that she desperately wanted was to say it stops here, but she did not know what that looked like. As a believer, she began to follow Jesus and asked him to heal her heart. As a result, today many of Suzanne's family members are Christian.

Suzanne's family members have watched her trust God with many big things. At 31, Suzanne was diagnosed with stage three cancer, after ignoring the lump she had found as she thought it was benign. She has been cancer free for 25 years.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ." - Philippians 3:8

She held onto that verse as she found out that her husband had been diagnosed with cancer. We were told that is was benign. Suzanne and her husband went into the doctor's office expecting one hundred percent good news, and walked out finding not only was it cancerous but it was much more serious than they had thought. She was writing about following Jesus wherever he leads and whatever he asks, while walking with her husband through cancer. Suzanne describes it as a beautiful hard place. It is in the storms of life that we discover who he is and a whole lot more about ourselves.

"The storms are scary because we realize what we do not have. When I was dealing with cancer and was a young mom, somehow there was a strength there that was bigger than me, and we know that was the Lord. This floored me because this was my guy. This is the man I have loved for most of my life."

Now Suzanne saw herself with not enough strength, faith or courage. She saw her not having enough as being sufficient enough in God's hands. She gave every last ounce of her not enough for God to do whatever he wants.

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God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
- James1:12 NLT
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Dear God, sometimes my "testing" season seems so long. Please give me courage to endure until the end. Help me not to bail! You said you would bless me for hanging in there - I will not give up on you or your promises. You are with me and will see me through this trial.