The invitation was colourful and fun, and proved to be eerily prophetic.
Looking at this
photo of my three-year-old Katherine
dressed to go to the party, it's hard to believe that within hours, a
health crisis would land her in the hospital and take her parents to a new place in the adventure of faith.
The birthday lunch was served under our
hosts' table, with plates and utensils above our required hats. All too soon, the "unexpected" became
unpleasant. My little girl started to fade, and finally lay down on the couch
complaining of a headache. At home more
Tylenol didn't seem to help. Unable to
sleep, at 2:00 a.m. She said, "Mummy, my
neck hurts too." Dad whisked her off to
the hospital.
Early the next morning I arrived to find a rag doll with a mane of long blond hair in a hospital
gown attached to an IV pole, sleeping face down on a mat in the playroom,
waiting for a bed. What a pathetic sight!
Our pastor and his wife visited close to 11:00 p.m. that first day, and church
family members brought love and prayers during one of scariest weeks of our
life. One parent needed to be with the patient throughout the night because
Katherine had to eliminate two ounces of fluid every hour. Richard would have
done the entire around-the-clock vigil, but when I found him there almost comatose
after two nights, I insisted he go home.
The pediatrician came faithfully; we could see his concern.
As I sat on the edge of the hospital bed beside my ailing,
unresponsive daughter, with no diagnosis, no sign of the happy, energetic girl
we knew, I was faced with frightening possibilities I hadn't contemplated until
then. A clear, unavoidable… "What if?" gripped my heart.
What if this isn't a quick fix? What if this changes the
personality we know and love? What if
our hopes for her future are compromised? What if…
…God calls her to Himself?
In retrospect, I believe the Lord was questioning me. Would
my faith be rocked, my love for and trust in God diminished?
At her dedication Richard and I had given our firstborn to
the Lord knowing He had lovingly planned for her life. We had been entrusted
with her care and nurture. But now we were powerless except to put our trust in
the One who gave her to us. I sensed Jesus walking me through those solemn
moments.
Adenitis was the
diagnosis finally. Thankfully, God
returned a healthy, whole daughter to us.
In his book, A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis wrote poignantly
about pain and loss, after the death of his wife Joy Gresham. I've long treasured his testimony: "God
has not been trying an experiment on my faith, or love, in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It
was I who didn't."
David prayed: "You have tested my thoughts and examined my
heart in the night" (Psalm 17:3).
His son Solomon wrote:
"Fire tests the
purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart" (Proverbs 17:3).
In my school days, I was never a fan of pop quizzes and unannounced tests. I preferred having time to study and prepare for the challenge. But life isn't like that, is it? That's why, as Dr. Alan Redpath frequently remind his students, "Christians need to be R. F. A. = Ready For Anything!"