One of the most controversial and divisive issues in our culture today is the topic of abortion. So much so, that it's become difficult to even talk about it or to find help for women who may have mental, emotional or physical consequences after this medical procedure. But many women are speaking out about their own experiences, including author and speaker Beverly Hadland.
Bev had a hard childhood. From the age of 5 years old she was responsible for her 3 ½ year old sister and it continued from there. She had been born to a single mom in Northern Ontario and her mother married who she said was Bev's father. The father in their family never acknowledged her. She was starving for attention. She became the oldest of 5 children and the parent.
Her father was a weekend alcoholic and her mother was in and out of an institution. That weight of carrying all of that and she faced many different kinds of abuse.
As a teenager Bev was looking for love in all the wrong places. She was starving for a man to say he loved her, she was special. In her mind the only way she could get that was by giving a man sex.
She found herself pregnant at 17 years old and her boyfriend wanted her to get an abortion. Her whole world crashed. Her boyfriend's family told her to have an abortion as well. She was made to feel like keeping the baby was a selfish choice. Like it was her fault that she was pregnant. His family made the arrangements for her and she doesn't remember anything about it. She does remember that 2 weeks after the abortion he dumped her.
A few years later a new man came into her life and she got pregnant again. She believed that he didn't want the baby either. She felt like nobody loved her. She had another abortion and she was cold and callous. After that abortion she left him. Her anger towards men started to become huge.
After that a man was a part of her losing a lot of money in business, another man had done her wrong. She started riding motorcycles, she became a feminist. She ran a restaurant and she became a workaholic. She was engaged to a man who was very involved in the underground communist movement from a Muslim family, and they wanted nothing to do with God. They ended up moving in together and they were going to be married.
A group of young people started praying for her but she was not interested at all. Then God sent her a friend named Karen who loved Jesus and came to work for her. She knew this woman was different. This woman waited and when Bev asked her where God has been throughout many struggles she gave her an answer she will never forget. She told her that God was in the same place He was when they crucified His one and only son. Bev was blown away. God allowed his own son to die for her sins. She couldn't argue with her friend when she said that.
A lot of people may feel like God loves them but how could He forgive them.
She was engaged to be married but her fiancé found out that their wedding anniversaries would be on Friday the 13th and he wanted to postpone the wedding so they did. On October 13th she went to work, they were to be married at 11 a.m., at that time she looked at her watch knowing she should have been getting married. Karen called her at exactly 11 a.m., she hadn't heard from her in a while. She had been on Karen's mind all night and she had been praying for her. She drove to see her fiancé and he was in bed and so she picked up the Bible instead. She asked God to show her that He loved her.
She opened the Bible to John 3:16,
"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believed in Him should not perish but have eternal life."
She thought that was only for people born into Christian families. She then flipped through and read Jeremiah 1:5,
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I consecrated you."
She hated herself after all she had done. How could God love her?
God gave her Matthew 10:29,
"Look at the sparrows, they're not worth much, a few pennies, but not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's knowledge, and do not fear for you are more value than many sparrows."
In that moment she wept and the waves of love came over her. She felt forgiven.
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