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How To Understand Your Husband - Affirming Your Man

The best way to help out a husband is to encourage him and build him up. Wherever you make him feel incompetent - providing, parenting, spiritual leader or marriage - you are shutting him down, not influencing him, but pushing him away.

If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as a bigger and better man, he will become that. Honour your husband in the role he has, even if he is not fulfilling it in the ways you desire.

The best gift a woman can give a man is affirmation: My wife saying "I want my son to be just like you" made me want to be a better man. We want to live up to that, It makes me want to become that man. She knows me better than any woman on earth and to affirm me like that, we want to live up to that.

There is so much importance to bringing God into your marriage. When you start to see your husband as a son of God, and you ask him to open your eyes to those strengths of my husband that I have stopped seeing because they have become so common, make me sensitive again. That affirmation makes them changed men.

Women tend to be more spiritually mature, they are relational so they understand and are wired for intimacy. They are book readers, attend fellowship groups, go to bible studies. The danger is in getting ahead of the men and holding them to that standard that the men aren't ready to live up to.

Romans 15:1 (MSG): Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, "How can I help"

If the wife really is more mature, that gives her greater responsibility to build him up, not tear him down. Don't use your maturity as a hammer to destroy, but instead use it to build him up.


Father I don't want to downplay the real pain and hurt and frustration that many wives feel today. They are your daughters Lord, you have seen them cry, you have heard their prayers, and I know they have a long road ahead of them but you are a strong God, you are an active God, you can build these women up, you can remake them, reshape them, and so Lord we put each one in your hands now. Open their eyes Lord to see their husbands with fresh eyes. The eyes which you look at their husbands and grant them Lord what they need to draw near to you for the task that is ahead.

In Jesus name,


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God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
- James1:12 NLT
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Dear God, sometimes my "testing" season seems so long. Please give me courage to endure until the end. Help me not to bail! You said you would bless me for hanging in there - I will not give up on you or your promises. You are with me and will see me through this trial.