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How To Understand Your Husband - Finding the Blessings


Gary Thomas's book 'Sacred Influence' points out the first step for wives to better understand their husbands. Become spiritually stronger. If your marriage is on the rocks, it is so important to have your identity rooted in the Word of God. You may not be receiving love from your husband, but you've got to receive your Heavenly Father's love and affection as you may not find it anywhere else.

Wives need to ask themselves "How do I build a life of meaning, purpose, influence and strength?" even when the marriage is not going the way they had hoped. Just because there are disappointments in the marriage, doesn't not mean that there are not blessings for you and through you.

James 3:2 - We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

If any woman is married to a man who stumbles not just occasionally, but in many ways, he will disappoint her. If she tries to find a new husband, it will just change what that stumbling looks like. You can not find a man who does not stumble. Therefore, it becomes increasingly important not to define a man by how he stumbles.

Women are amazing infidelity detectors. Women know if they have their husband's hearts or not. Whereas men are disappointment detectors. Men can see when they have disappointed their wives. Men do not just fall in love with their wives, but they fall in love with being loved. When the light in their wives eyes fade, men pick up on it. When a woman becomes disappointed with her husband by his stumbling, he can feel it.

Ephesians 5:33 - However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

If wives make their husbands feel incompetent as husbands, the guys check out of the game. The worst way to encourage your husband to be a spiritual leader, is tell him he is not being a spiritual leader. Nagging and making him feel insecure is to guarantee that he won't become the spiritual leader you desire.

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God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
- James1:12 NLT
Related Prayer
Dear God, sometimes my "testing" season seems so long. Please give me courage to endure until the end. Help me not to bail! You said you would bless me for hanging in there - I will not give up on you or your promises. You are with me and will see me through this trial.