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Joy Eggerichs on Love and Respect

When Joy Eggerich's father founded Love and Respect, it's safe to assume he didn't anticipate the push-back he would receive from his own daughter on the premise of the ministry.

Love and Respect Ministries is based on Ephesians 5:33, where it says, "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." It was easy for Joy to get behind the idea that a husband must love his wife, but respect is something that must be earned. She began to question whether God's word was there to help her relationships or to hurt her.

The answer came when she realized, through a great deal of conversation with her father and other mentors in her life, that sometimes our understanding of a word is not the proper definition of it. Respect is not something we give only to those in authority over us. Instead, it is an attitude that we must have towards everyone we are in relationship with, especially in a marriage.

Research has shown that husbands and wives feel very differently at the end of a conflict or argument in their marriage. 80% of men leave a conflict and think, "I feel disrespected." Over 70% of women leave that same conflict with their husband and say, "I feel unloved in this moment". It is a deep-rooted part of our nature to either desire respect or love, so when God gives the command in Ephesians 5:33, he does so knowing the differences between a man and a woman, and he gives us the tools to appropriately communicate and respond to one another within marriage

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