"When anything in life is an absolute requirement for your happiness and self-worth, it is essentially an ‘idol,' something you are actually worshiping." - Tim Keller, from Counterfeit Gods
In the church, we have too often made an idol out of marriage, turning into something that we must have in order to be happy or feel any amount of self-worth. When we're single, we equate that fact with the idea that maybe we've done something wrong, that somehow we are distant from God and are missing out on His blessing because of that.
So often at weddings, we hear the bride and groom and their family and friends talk about how great a blessing their relationship is, so when someone doesn't experience that "blessing", they question where they have gone astray.
Joy Eggerichs has wrestled through this issue and is not shy to speak about it. Instead of buying into the idea that only married people are blessed by God, she reminds us that singleness itself can be a blessing, and that sometimes receiving the "desires of our hearts" takes time and patience. The things we focus our desires on do not always come to fruition, and we should not allow our theology to crumble when we see others being blessed in ways that we desire.
Joy reminds us that anything we worship aside from or in place of God is an idol, and when we properly worship Him we are instead focused on rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn. "What I have to come back to is, ‘Do I believe that God is real, and do I believe that He is good?' And if I believe both of those things, will I be obedient in the space of what I don't know?"