Bible teacher Joyce Meyer has learnt over the years that before people do much of anything, they want to know what the benefit is. So if people can understand that as long as they don't forgive, they are poisoning themselves. Hating somebody who has hurt you is like taking poison and hoping they'll die. It does not work that way. It's pointless.
As Joyce wisely puts it, "Okay, you hurt me. But if I'm going to hate you then I'm letting you continue to hurt me, and you are controlling my life."
However, a lot of people do want to forgive. They just don't know how to do it.
First of all, to do anything, we need to do it the way God tells us to.
God says in His word that we need to pray for our enemies even if we don't really want them to be blessed. Often times, after you have prayed for God to bless them, the first thing that God blesses them with is the revelation of what they have done.
They can't really have a right relationship with Him if they don't admit what they have done and come to a place of truth in their life. God desires truth in the inner being (Psalm 51). You can't get where you need to be if you don't face the truth about where you are.
We have to know that God is not asking us to feel differently about those who have hurt us. He is asking us to pray, to bless and not curse, to speak well of and not speaking evil of. We need to stop talking about them in an unkind way.
Instead, pray in obedience to God and make a decision to stop talking about them. Even if we still feel like we are angry, it does not necessarily mean that we haven't forgiven them. Leave it at God's feet - God, I've done my part. Now Your part is to change how I feel.
When we obey God no matter how we feel, it breaks the enemy's power over us.
When we take that step of obedience, God gives us power and a blessing for that act of obedience.
When you do what's right, even if you feel all wrong about it, that's when you are growing spiritually.
It's time that we overcome evil with good.