Lysa TerKeurst is the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a New York Times Best Selling author. In her new book, "Uninvited", Lysa is vulnerable and candid about her own personal experiences of rejection and encourages the readers that even in the midst of loneliness, rejection or pain, our importance doesn't lie in others' opinion of us. Our importance is living a life based on who God says we are.
Whenever Lysa starts writing on a topic or a message, she would first ask herself first and foremost if that is a message she needs desperately. She knew she was struggling with rejections from her past and they are still affecting her to this day.
Moreover, in our highly filtered, social media saturated world, we are very aware of the "great" stuff that other people are doing - their marriage is more romantic, their kids are better dressed and more successful etc. Their lives just seemed so much better than ours. We can feel uninvited and unwanted when we see our best friends hanging out for dinner last night and we were not there.
Growing up, Lysa had always had a tumultuous relationship with her father, constantly wondering when he would leave. Finally he did. And all she saw was: "Lysa - the unwanted one".
All she knew was her father abandoned her and the family. It really tapped into the 2 core fears that feed into our propensity for rejection. First is the feeling of abandonment and the second is the loss of one's identity. As a result, Lysa carried those thought patterns of "You are not wanted. You are not acceptable" into every adult relationship she had. It is really difficult not to revert back to those thought patterns even in her marriage now.
It doesn't need to be a huge event, like a father leaving, to trigger the feelings of rejection. It can also be something a middle school classmate said to you that just settled into your heart. Somehow, that lie becomes a line that we start to repeat to ourselves. That line becomes a liability in every other interaction that we have, affecting our thinking process and our perceptions in our relationships with people.
Therefore, Lysa wants to tackle this difficult topic and help readers to:
- Release the desire to fall apart or control the actions of others by embracing God-honoring ways to process their hurt.
- Know exactly what to pray for the next ten days to steady their soul and restore their confidence.
- Overcome the two core fears that feed our insecurities by understanding the secret of belonging.
- Stop feeling left out and start believing that "set apart" does not mean "set aside."
- End the cycle of perceived rejection by refusing to turn a small incident into a full blown issue.