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The Fruitful Wife - Patience

Hayley DiMarco is the author of 'The Fruitful Wife'. Here Hayley talks about the fruit of the spirit and how it plays a vital role in marriage and everyday relationships.

Patience is probably one of the most "unnatural" fruit of the Spirit in anybody's lives.  Everyone I talk to, patience is the hardest thing, and it's the hardest thing to generate in your life through your flesh. Thank God, because that requires you to rely in the Holy Spirit. Get over feeling guilty that you are not patient because we are not really built that way, which is why we rely on God's Spirit to give that to us.


One of the most difficult things about patience is letting go of your desire to play God.

That is really what your impatience is doing: It's upset that your plans aren't going through the way you want them to. In other words, it's like you're a little God saying people ought to do things this way and it ought to come out like this, and when it doesn't, you've lost all patience because you had a plan. So if you are one of those people who have to be in control all the time, you probably have a problem with patience because you cannot be in control all the time.

It is self-deception believing that you can be in control because you are not God.

Let me take that off your shoulders right now, you don't have to be God. Aren't you happy about that? Because all that weight on your shoulders of thinking you have to control everything around you, even yourself often times you fell if you are out of control, when these feelings press down on you what happens? More impatience and more out of control.

The answer is to let go.

Let it go in those moments when you feel you have to be in control of others, when you have to voice what's wrong, complain, point out, when you have an urge to blow up, even when you are bored. Those moments when you are bored reveals your lack of patience. The boredom comes from the idea "This is not how I want to spend my day" as if your plans are the most important.

The person who believes that God is the most important one, who believes that He ought to be in control and that He's good at it, who believes that His happiness is more important than theirs, is the person that can find patience.

I know this sounds impossible, and something we can't do but that's okay because His Spirit can do it. It can happen amazingly and painlessly when you say "I am no longer in control. I no longer want to be God and no longer want to manage the situation. But I will trust both good and bad come from Him" (Lamentations 3:37). I want whatever came from Him, which means that my plans might not be His and I will accept His plans. In that, you will find the patience that the Holy Spirit wants to give you.

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Related Verse
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
- James1:12 NLT
Related Prayer
Dear God, sometimes my "testing" season seems so long. Please give me courage to endure until the end. Help me not to bail! You said you would bless me for hanging in there - I will not give up on you or your promises. You are with me and will see me through this trial.